Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
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