Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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