The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
