dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
