Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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