I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
