remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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