ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
