My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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