i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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