Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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