Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
