Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
