I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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