it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
