i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
