Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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