Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
