Will you blow on my dice?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
