My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
