plz talk dirty to me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
