Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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