Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
