so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
