The maid of honor just puked.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
