just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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