I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
