Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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