I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
