Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
