just come out here and I will go home with you...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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