Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
