I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
