I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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