I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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