i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
