i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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