apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
