need another drink. this is the easiest way
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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