Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
