So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
