the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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