What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
