last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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