the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
