u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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