He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
