Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
