You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize