He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
