Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We got so high we made milksteak
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
