she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
