I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
third nipple confirmed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
