Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?

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(574): View more from Indiana

my professor just said "the power of the situation"

(216): View more from Ohio

drink

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(810): View more from Michigan

Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Did it finish?

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(315): View more from New York

you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out

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(716): View more from New York

We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.

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