I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
