im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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