false alarm. still invincible.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Farmville is her only friend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?