my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.