oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."