Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
