It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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