I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
