Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
