Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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