My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
