i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
