1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
