That's when you crack a 10am beer
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
